Is saying "well played" after winning rude?

@master_of_DARKNESS said in #30:
> So thats what a strawman is.

It's... actually not that at all. That's literally the point being argued in this thread. If it's not your point, then your effort to make whatever your real point is was pretty poor.

If your point was that it's pointless but not rude, then good news! We're in agreement. My comment still makes sense in the context of the thread though.

I didn't even say that you personally said it was rude. Context is a thing that exists.

@master_of_DARKNESS If it wasn't an automatic option, I'd say it anyway. Sorry if thats hard for you to understand. Seems to me that common decency is in short supply. But then we are different people so maybe I shouldn't be surprised.

@BorisOspasky said in #26:
> If someone gets upset by it, then that’s their problem, not mine

That is precisely a paradigm of narcissism, not caring of the effects of self behaviour on others. Pity that Lichess implemented a mechanical instrument to nourish this.

What if I felt free to call a black person a "negro", since in my language that expression has no insulting ethymo, origin or implication? I could say, as you do, "if someone gets upset, it's their problem".

I say both gg and well played after every game, no matter the outcome, I just consider it polite. If someone wants to take my politeness as an insult, that is a flaw in their character and personality, not my problem. After all, I am complimenting their gameplay, which was them trying their best, not saying anything would be more rude in my humble opinion.

An automatic "wp" after a win seems a bit off to me.

But plenty of people have now said that they have no ill intentions when saying it. Yet, it also sounds like many of you will keep thinking it's rude AND get annoyed by it. Like life is too long to not sweat all the small stuff. :)

Automated "good game, well played" is stupid and lazy. I can hang all my pieces and still get a "good game well played" in game chat.

And it's lazy cause you have a setting that actually saves you from saying gg. Let's face it, not all games are good games and well played, and if we played a game where I hang all my pieces and or step into a stalemate having mate in one, only a retard would say "good game, well played" - cause it wasnt.

The whole setting is beyond stupid and should be removed.

@FredtheCrusher said in #1:
> Most everyone would consider it rude to say something like "I played better than you" after winning a game. But "well played" seems to imply the same thing. If the opponent played well but you still won, then you must have played better.
>
> Of course you could have been outplayed and won due to a single blunder, but then the severity of that one mistake would outweigh all of your smaller mistakes combined, meaning that you played better.
>
> Am I the only one who considers it rude to say "well played" after winning?

It's good to allow the loser of the game to say "Well Played" first.

In case they were having a bad day or missed a win (after all, there is no way to know if they thought that they had a good game)...it's nice to allow them the chance to say it first.

That's usually best.

If it's a good game and a draw, then I might offer a "Well Played" first.

And, every now and then, if I think that both sides played very well, and it was sporting and tense, sometimes I can't stop myself from saying "Well Played" even if I won.

But, generally, 95% of the time, it's best to just allow the loser of the game to say "Well Played" first.

That said, if someone gets super excited about a win and they say "Well Played", then that's cool, too, because it's nice to see people enjoy the game.

Also, objectively speaking, I imagine that about 10% of the people who checkmate me are between the ages of 5-17 years old...and it's very very weird to tell a child, "Hey! Don't say "Well Played" after a win! Always wait for your opponent to say it first! Grrrrrr!!!!!!!!"

So it's just a whole bunch of factors.

Basically, try to let the loser say it first unless you can't help yourself.
And just be cool if someone says it to you first even if they win.

Saying 'well played' to someone who just lost is sarcastic and patronizing
They lost...how was it 'well played' exactly by them?
The most neutral thing you can say after a game is simply 'handshake' imo

@NickUK1969 said in #39:
> Saying 'well played' to someone who just lost is sarcastic and patronizing
> They lost...how was it 'well played' exactly by them?
> The most neutral thing you can say after a game is simply 'handshake' imo

I keep hearing about a handshake icon. I think it'd be a great idea, too.

Also, that said, 95% of the time someone says "Well Played" after a win, it's not intentionally sarcastic or patronizing.
Many people, who are good sports, don't mind being told "Well Played" even if they lose.

But, I'll totally admit that sometimes, if I'm having a bad day or if I blundered/missed a win, that "Well Played" can seem a little bit antagonistic.

In those situations, I just self-check and understand that I'm the one having a bad day.