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OTB chess tricks #1-3

1. Hand grab gambit
Pick up the opponents pawn/knight/bishop/rook/queen while they are not looking and remove it from the playing grounds as sneakily as possible. Also similar to the clock gambit.

2. 3 time repetition of stalemate claim
You can claim a stalemate if the TD does not know what it is by asking for it 3 times.

3. Clock bang gambit
If you are running low on time you can quickly tap the side of the clock and it will loosen the battery thus the TD cannot determine official times so both sides get more time.
Really helpful :). Can you suggest some tricks in online chess as well?
@noob2chess

4. The Harjaap Khela
Before the start of the match, wipe all of your opponent's pieces with a swift movement of the left hand. If you are left handed, do it with your right hand. Checkmate in 1.
I stole my favorite OTB chess trick from Shirov's much-awaited 'Fire' sequel - Dandruff on Board. The master-class technique is as follows; after you've both exchanged pleasantries and filled out the score-sheets, pretend to be deep in thought, hands on furrowed brow, agonizing over move one. Your head directly above the board, slowly guide those caressing hands through your untreated dry scalp; repeat ad infinitum, moving occasionally. If you're like me, before the opening is even over, your opponent won't be able to tell light squares from dark squares. Try to aim for unoccupied squares; when your opponent runs for the TD, it'll be easier to sweep away the evidence from those squares (for a truly intimidating experience, if your opponent confronts you directly, you could try snorting it up). Pro tip: DON'T wear black, believe me....

Just starting Chapter Two - The Unscrupulous Tournament Player's Diet: Cans of Re-fried Beans

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